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Heartbreak, Vanity, & Attention to Detail

by Joseph Valle-Hoag

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1.
I think in terms of black and blue I never saw red until I met you And I still think about the times I never kissed you Running through the rain without your umbrella How do I live on this island without you Sweating, screaming, tearing at my sheets Still dreaming about getting locked outside Pouring out my future in a beer you couldn't drink So let me ruin this So let me ruin this now I want to ruin this now I'll only twist your arm if you twist my words It hurts when you ignore me and it hurts to go unheard I'm tired of screaming in the shower I'm tired of waking up with aching hands Spent the night lighting matches on my roof Burning down my fingers and burning down our house I want to ruin this I want to ruin this now I want to ruin this now I'll only break your heart if I break my word It hurts when you avoid me and it hurts to go unheard I wish that I could hear true silence I wish I was someone who I'm not Someone who hates you Someone who can't stand you I wish I was someone more like you When I think about my black decision, I think about you When I think about our hearts' collision, I see blue And the only color I ever want to see is red Yeah, the only color I ever want to see is red Is red Is red
2.
Sunburn 03:40
Today I got a sunburn, and I thought about last year I thought about your smile and the nights we shared You would not help cool me You were the one who burned me The only thing I loved more was the sun It was burning you, it was burning me All summer long my skin turned red from your sunburn And your sun-kissed cheeks, hot on my lips All summer long I warmed myself on your Sunburn Dancing through the city, hiding on my roof Making love by the AC where we could cool our burns I told you I loved you; you said you loved me too I'll call you up so we can feel the heat It was burning you, it was burning me All summer long my skin turned red from your sunburn Now it's cold and raining But you can keep me warm Nothing last forever What I wouldn't give For a sunburn Burning you Burning me You burned me Burning you Burning me You burned me It was burning you, it was burning me All summer long my skin turned red from your sunburn And your sun-kissed cheeks, hot on my lips All summer long I warmed myself on your Sunburn
3.
Am I off putting when I say that I love you? Is it unnecessary? I don't know I just wish you'd call when I left for home today And I know that I'll be fine Don't turn around when I try to say your name I won't have any stupid things left to say I'll be OK if you don't turn the page There's nothing there for you or me I'm already moving on I cannot stand here waiting for you I'm already out the door I can't make up these lies anymore I'm already headed out you're no good for me and that is true I'll be gone for good and I just found the strength to tell you So when you start to scream don't come and scream at me I think you know I need to let my conscience be Just don't look back to the time when I knew well When all my dreams were underwhelmed I'm already moving on I cannnot stand here waiting for you I'm already out your door I can't make up these lies anymore I'm already headed out you're no good for me and that is true I'll be gone for good and I just found the strength to tell you Then I start second guessing Then I start un-represing Then I know that I'm on my way Come up with nothing Come up with nothing And when you're lonely know that this is not the end I've still got tricks and games for you to break and mend And if you're lost you can look to the sun It's more reliable than me She'll forget about me if I keep my conscience clean The other girl will come and take my self esteem I'll walk away from the wreak of my old self And come out someone who I hate Then I start second guessing Then I start un-represing Then I know that I'm on my way Come up with nothing Come up with nothing
4.
Pick up the phone Pray that it's not you Calling from another number that you stole from a customer Bottles and lace piled in the sink Message replays that you're sorry You're sorry You're sorry Double vision Distant care Single purpose Unaware Working title Open ends Frequent callers Absent friends How long have you tried to avoid me? All the pain you deny All the warnings that my hands are sending me It's the part of me that wants you to die. Do you ever wonder what the hell were you thinking? Do you ever wonder what the hell were you thinking? Do you ever wonder what the hell were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? What the hell were you thinking? The only reason that you're still here Is my heartbreak, vanity, and attention to detail. Ache in my hands Pain in my chest I don't want to die but I don't want to live this way Injuries pile; rent's the price to live You keep on saying it's worth it It's worth it It's worth it Double vision Distant care Single purpose Unaware Working title Open ends Frequent callers Absent friends Empty bottles Higher ground Closed revisions Unprofound Lower standards So obscene Still unanswered evergreen Two, three, four Hey hey hey Hey hey hey Hey hey hey
5.
I had a dream I met you inside a guitar Outshining naked light bulbs and dead behind the eyes You came to me and asked me if I’d changed at all And I said that I was still the same. I’m leaving town with more baggage than when I arrived My suitcase is bursting at the seems My clothes were nice and folded when I arrived But I’ve leaving with messes to clean Out in the cold November’s chill A moment when everything felt right When you left I dropped a wish in to the well And I asked God to send me home to you I’m on a train that’s bound for New York Before I left I said it was my home If a man is an actor he can say he’s fine And if not then he can hope anew. Everything I needed was there I found a strength in music I didn’t know I had When my journey’s done I know that I will see her once again. I’m afraid when I see her next she’ll be with a man Who’s better for her than me I think of her and I cannot help but sing She’s the reason my guitar neck bends Fare thee well to Prince's Landing Stage River Mersey, fare thee well I am bound for Californi-A It's a place that I know right well So fare thee well, my own true love And when I return, united we will be It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me But my darling, when I think of thee I have signed on a Yankee Clipper ship 'Davy Crockett' is her name And Burgess is the Captain of her And they say that she's a floating shame I have sailed with Burgess once before He's a man I know right well If a man is a sailor, he can get along And if nothing, he is sure in Hell Now the sun is on the harbor, love And I wish I could remain For I know it will be a long, long time Before I see you again

credits

released October 1, 2021

Vox - Joseph Valle-Hoag
All Guitars - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Bass - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Horns - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Piano - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Organ - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Drums - Joseph Valle-Hoag
Cajon - Daveed Buzaglo
Studio technician - Dustin Warnick
Mixing and mastering - Grover Neville and Joseph Valle-Hoag

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Joseph Valle-Hoag New York, New York

New York based singer and songwriter. www.joevallehoag.com

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